The other day I forgot to take my Ipod with me when I went to clean. I always bring my Ipod with me. That way I don't have to think for myself. This time I had to do my own thinking. As I was cleaning, I was thinking about cleaning. More specifically, I was thinking about cleaning bathrooms. I have cleaned many bathrooms, and I have reached this conclusion: boys are gross. I don't mind cleaning bathrooms, but I am continually grossed out by what I see when I go into the men's bathroom. Mostly because of urinals. Apparently aiming is difficult. I constantly find puddles on the floor. One time I found a puddle on the top of the urinal. That takes some talent I must say. I always have to wash the walls around the urinals. Standing up to pee is messy work. Why do boys brag about it? I often find gum in the urinals. Surprise! Gum doesn't flush, if they had even bothered to try to flush. You know what else doesn't flush? Paper towel. Neither do pennies. They do cause the urinal to overflow though. Boys don't seem to flush urinals very often. Urinals drain anyway, why flush? Sometimes they don't flush the toilets. Boys pee standing up, so you know what's in the toilet. It often seems that they don't flush because they thought they had something to be proud of and wanted to show it off. It's like the redneck joke, you know you're a redneck when you leave the bathroom and say "ya'll better come see this before I flush it." I didn't want to see it.
The women's bathroom is not all roses either. There is always paper towel on the floor, and soap on the counter and hair in the sink. Occasionally I have to pick up a tampon wrapper from off the floor. Sometimes even pee on the seat. But never pee on the walls or puddles on the floor. Girls pee sitting down. Not bragging; fact.
Tuesday, July 28
Wednesday, July 8
Bunny in the park
I really didn't intend to write another fashion blog this soon. I really didn't, but the event of the Canada Day celebration in the park left me with no choice. I had to write another fashion blog. What's a girl to do when she sees something that atrocious? Well, write about it obviously.
I was not aware that Canada Day was an occasion for costumes. Not costumes like wearing Canada t-shirts or hats with a flag cape. That doesn't count; that's just being patriotic at an appropriate time. No, I mean costumes with ears. Let me set the scene: we're standing in line waiting to get caramel apples and cotton candy. What's a day in the park without sugar? The line was at a stand still, so I did what I always do when I am in a crowd of people; I looked for things about other people to criticize. I realize that it's small and petty of me, but there are so many people that need to be criticized and I am willing to do it. Anyway, there I was looking around, not seeing much to mock, but then it appeared. Well, she appeared. In a costume. I'll start at the top. The very top. With the bunny ears. Yes, she was wearing bunny ears. Pink ones. I'm really not sure how bunny ears go with celebrating the day our country became a country, but she saw the connection. The bunny ears were not the end of the costume, no there was more. Unfortunately, not a lot more. The rest of the costume consisted of a skimpy pink tank top and very short shorts. Very, very short. I think she must have altered them herself. You don't normally see shorts that short. Yes people, there was cheek. Quite a lot. Definately not in a good way. She was going for the whole Playboy bunny look and failed. She most definately did not have the figure to attempt the Playboy bunny look. Most of us don't, and I'm not faulting her for that, but most of us know better than to try to work the bunny look with figures that would be more suited for the, um, well, a larger, rounder animal look. I really didn't need to see that much of her, but it did give me something to write about, and for that, girl with the rabbit ears, I thank you.
I was not aware that Canada Day was an occasion for costumes. Not costumes like wearing Canada t-shirts or hats with a flag cape. That doesn't count; that's just being patriotic at an appropriate time. No, I mean costumes with ears. Let me set the scene: we're standing in line waiting to get caramel apples and cotton candy. What's a day in the park without sugar? The line was at a stand still, so I did what I always do when I am in a crowd of people; I looked for things about other people to criticize. I realize that it's small and petty of me, but there are so many people that need to be criticized and I am willing to do it. Anyway, there I was looking around, not seeing much to mock, but then it appeared. Well, she appeared. In a costume. I'll start at the top. The very top. With the bunny ears. Yes, she was wearing bunny ears. Pink ones. I'm really not sure how bunny ears go with celebrating the day our country became a country, but she saw the connection. The bunny ears were not the end of the costume, no there was more. Unfortunately, not a lot more. The rest of the costume consisted of a skimpy pink tank top and very short shorts. Very, very short. I think she must have altered them herself. You don't normally see shorts that short. Yes people, there was cheek. Quite a lot. Definately not in a good way. She was going for the whole Playboy bunny look and failed. She most definately did not have the figure to attempt the Playboy bunny look. Most of us don't, and I'm not faulting her for that, but most of us know better than to try to work the bunny look with figures that would be more suited for the, um, well, a larger, rounder animal look. I really didn't need to see that much of her, but it did give me something to write about, and for that, girl with the rabbit ears, I thank you.
Wednesday, July 1
The rights of thongs
There has been a request for the topic of this blog. I am happy to oblige. Feel free to make requests in the future.
I have to start this rant by revisiting the yoga pant issue. I believe I said something along the lines of yoga pants are really tight. Wedged right up there tight. So tight you can't wear a g-string tight. Ya. I remember saying that. Apparently the word has not gotten out yet. I saw this girl the other day wearing yoga pants. It was in the park, so was excusable. The issue was not that she was wearing yoga pants. The issue was what she was wearing with the yoga pants, or to be more precise, under the yoga pants. No, she was not wearing a g-string, she should have been, but she wasn't. She was wearing bikini briefs. I know. I could see every line. Now I realize that people wear panties, I have been known to wear them on occasion myself, but I don't have to see that you wear them. That brings me to the topic of this blog; thongs. A thong is an important item of lingerie. Every woman should own several. Here's why; VPL (visible panty line) is bad. It ruins the line of your pants. It draws the wrong kind of attention to your ass. It looks so much better if your pants lie smoothly with no interruption. Hence the thong, or g-string if you would rather. You can wear underwear, your ass looks amazing, and you don't have to declare to the world "look, I'm wearing panties!" I suppose for some people it would be an unusual event and they would want to declare it. Anyway, the thing about wearing a thong is that it is very definately possible to wear one incorrectly. Let's say there is a girl wearing a rather tight outfit. It's not a far stretch for the imagination, is it? Let's also say she decided that morning to wear a thong. Unfortunately, that thong is two sizes too small. Now the line of her outfit is ruined at her hips because there are indentations where her too-tight thong is digging into her flesh. Not attractive in any way. Now she's declaring to the world "look, I'm wearing a thong!" Not a good declaration. Now, instead of the tight outfit, let's say this girl is wearing well-fitting jeans and a t-shirt. She drops something and bends over to pick it up, and, pow! You get a full view of her thong. You look around to see if you were the only one who noticed. No, everyone around noticed too, and you see the looks of horror and disgust on their faces. They weren't ready for that at this time of day. They feel their senses have been assaulted. She could have prevented this ungodly view by wearing her thong properly. Keep it in your pants people! I don't need to know what colour your thong is. I really don't. You probably don't want to know what colour mine is either. I keep it in my pants. I'll tell you if you really feel that you need to know, but I won't force it on you. I wear it properly.
I have to start this rant by revisiting the yoga pant issue. I believe I said something along the lines of yoga pants are really tight. Wedged right up there tight. So tight you can't wear a g-string tight. Ya. I remember saying that. Apparently the word has not gotten out yet. I saw this girl the other day wearing yoga pants. It was in the park, so was excusable. The issue was not that she was wearing yoga pants. The issue was what she was wearing with the yoga pants, or to be more precise, under the yoga pants. No, she was not wearing a g-string, she should have been, but she wasn't. She was wearing bikini briefs. I know. I could see every line. Now I realize that people wear panties, I have been known to wear them on occasion myself, but I don't have to see that you wear them. That brings me to the topic of this blog; thongs. A thong is an important item of lingerie. Every woman should own several. Here's why; VPL (visible panty line) is bad. It ruins the line of your pants. It draws the wrong kind of attention to your ass. It looks so much better if your pants lie smoothly with no interruption. Hence the thong, or g-string if you would rather. You can wear underwear, your ass looks amazing, and you don't have to declare to the world "look, I'm wearing panties!" I suppose for some people it would be an unusual event and they would want to declare it. Anyway, the thing about wearing a thong is that it is very definately possible to wear one incorrectly. Let's say there is a girl wearing a rather tight outfit. It's not a far stretch for the imagination, is it? Let's also say she decided that morning to wear a thong. Unfortunately, that thong is two sizes too small. Now the line of her outfit is ruined at her hips because there are indentations where her too-tight thong is digging into her flesh. Not attractive in any way. Now she's declaring to the world "look, I'm wearing a thong!" Not a good declaration. Now, instead of the tight outfit, let's say this girl is wearing well-fitting jeans and a t-shirt. She drops something and bends over to pick it up, and, pow! You get a full view of her thong. You look around to see if you were the only one who noticed. No, everyone around noticed too, and you see the looks of horror and disgust on their faces. They weren't ready for that at this time of day. They feel their senses have been assaulted. She could have prevented this ungodly view by wearing her thong properly. Keep it in your pants people! I don't need to know what colour your thong is. I really don't. You probably don't want to know what colour mine is either. I keep it in my pants. I'll tell you if you really feel that you need to know, but I won't force it on you. I wear it properly.
Tuesday, May 26
K-os is deep
I was listening to a CBC podcast today, DNTO as a matter of fact, and K-os was the guest. He said something that I thought was profound. He said "if you follow in someone else's footsteps, you can only go as far as they did." I have never thought about it that way before, but I think I like it. Isn't stepping off the beaten path what makes life exciting and fulfilling? Making your own decisions, making your life yours. Yah. Thanks K-os.
More fashion no-nos
I dedicate this episode to one of the most important inventions in the world today. Without this invention we would have no separation or lift. Gravity would win. Yes, this post is dedicated to the bra.
I like bras. I think they are very important. I think every woman should wear one. At all times. Okay, at least in public. What you do in your own home is up to you.
I like bras. I think they are very important. I think every woman should wear one. At all times. Okay, at least in public. What you do in your own home is up to you. I like bras enough that I have been known to show mine off. Only to a few people. Like when I bought my blue lace bra with the corset lacing, I had to show it off. It's gorgeous, it really is. Here's the thing though, I don't show my bra off in public. It's one thing if the strap slips, which happens on occasion. That's not so bad. Easily fixed. It's an entirely different thing if there is no possible way to not see your bra. For example, a tube top does not go with a normal bra such as the one pictured. It goes with a strapless bra. Halter tops, again, strapless bra. I didn't think this was a very difficult concept, but I see it all the time. Apparently people haven't figured this one out yet. There is another thing that some people don't seem to understand. Let me explain; even if your bra is the "nude" colour, I can still see it. It is very important to have a nude bra, you can wear it under a white t-shirt for example. White bras don't work with white t-shirts, really. Anyway, I was talking about nude bras. This came up when I went out to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. The hostess was wearing a little black dress. It was a nice dress. The kind that you would wear to a cocktail party or something. Low cut, spaghetti straps. Not work appropriate. There is a limit on how much cleavage should be shown. Back to the bra. She was wearing a regular bra with the little black dress. I could see quite a lot of it. The back, the straps, the sides. Ya, it was disturbing. It was a nude coloured bra though, so maybe I wasn't supposed to be able to see it. It blended in so well. Nude is the new camouflage.
Wednesday, April 8
Fashion Crimes
Sometimes I just don't understand. I don't understand sweat pants. Sure, they're comfortable, but ugly. Especially when they have elastic at the ankles and are too short, or when you're a guy, or when they are really baggy. Okay, they're just always ugly, I don't care how comfortable they are. Be comfortable in your own home, look presentable when you go out in public. Just in case you don't know what I think about sweat pants yet, let me enlighten you; sweat pants should never be worn in public. Ever.
Today I saw something that I was so horribly shocked by, it actually hurt. I saw this girl wearing the nicest shoes. These were gorgeous shoes. I totally want them. Open-toe pumps with pink detailing. Really, really nice. I want those shoes. These ones actually. They are from Fixation Shoes and Accessories. Aren't they beautiful? Just gaze upon their beauty. I am.
SHE WAS WEARING THOSE GORGEOUS SHOES WITH YOGA CAPRI PANTS AND A HOODIE! She ruined the shoes. She made them look cheap. She doesn't deserve to have those shoes if she is going to wear them without the respect they are due. Is there some kind of shoe social services she could be reported to? How could she do that to those shoes? Why? What is wrong with her? The week before the same girl was wearing ankle boots with yoga pants. I didn't like the boots anyway, but they definately didn't go with yoga pants. You should all know this, but I will tell you anyway; yoga pants don't go with heels. They just don't. If you must wear yoga pants, and I think yoga pants are only marginally better than sweat pants, wear running shoes or flip-flops. Ankle boots go with jeans. Gorgeous open-toed perfection goes with so many things, but work out clothes are definately not one of the things. Little black dress, black dress pants, dark wash jeans, nice pencil skirt, but most definately not yoga pants.
SHE WAS WEARING THOSE GORGEOUS SHOES WITH YOGA CAPRI PANTS AND A HOODIE! She ruined the shoes. She made them look cheap. She doesn't deserve to have those shoes if she is going to wear them without the respect they are due. Is there some kind of shoe social services she could be reported to? How could she do that to those shoes? Why? What is wrong with her? The week before the same girl was wearing ankle boots with yoga pants. I didn't like the boots anyway, but they definately didn't go with yoga pants. You should all know this, but I will tell you anyway; yoga pants don't go with heels. They just don't. If you must wear yoga pants, and I think yoga pants are only marginally better than sweat pants, wear running shoes or flip-flops. Ankle boots go with jeans. Gorgeous open-toed perfection goes with so many things, but work out clothes are definately not one of the things. Little black dress, black dress pants, dark wash jeans, nice pencil skirt, but most definately not yoga pants. While I'm on the topic of yoga pants, let me rant a bit. I think yoga pants are only marginally better than sweat pants. Only because yoga pants don't look scruffy and messy as do sweat pants. I still think they should never be worn in public. They are work out clothes. You may wear them at the gym, on your way to the gym or on the way home from the gym. You may wear them as casual, comfy pants at home. Don't wear them in public. Often the people who do wear them in public have the body to do so and are understandably proud of their body and want to show it off. Fine. Do you have to show it off that much? Have you ever noticed that yoga pants are really tight? Really tight. Like, painted on tight. Wedged right up there tight. Can't even wear a g-string because you would have VPL tight. That's a little to much showing off. Seriously, I can see everything. Dimple on the left cheek? Yep, I know. I can see. That's just wrong. Can it really be that comfortable with a perma-wedgie?
One more fashion crime of the day, it was a busy day; summer wear. Not a problem in the summer. It's not summer right now, it's April. It was only 9 degrees today. Don't wear a jacket. Wear sandles. Capris are almost acceptable, but still pushing it a little. Shorts with a three-inch inseam, a tank top and flip-flops are definately pushing it a lot. Okay, we have had a long winter and it may seem like a heat wave right now, but there is still snow. There at least should be some green outside before the shorts come out. Good optimism though.
Sunday, March 22
Coincidence? I think not.
I wonder if you have noticed the same thing I have. I listen to pop radio in the morning as I get ready for school. Usually I would listen to CBC but my alarm clock won't pick it up for some reason, the AM or the FM stations. I can get pop music though, and I actually like the commentary in the morning, so I stick with it. Anyway, I was listening to the music and noticed a theme. Well, two themes. Guy songs are about sex, girl songs are about how stupid guys are. Here are a few examples of some of the lyrics; "I wanna make love right now, now, now. I wanna make love right now, now, now." "I wanna make love in this club, in this club, in this club, in this club. I wanna make love in this club, in this club, in this club." "You spin my head right round, right round when you go down, when you go down, down." I kid you not, those are the actual lyrics. Here are some girl song lyrics; "Good-bye, you suck, never really liked you." "and now that we're done I'm gonna show you tonight, I'm alright, I'm just fine, and you're a fool, so, so what..."and the next time that he cheats you know it won't be on me." Does anyone else see the correlation there?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
