Wednesday, April 8

Fashion Crimes

Sometimes I just don't understand. I don't understand sweat pants. Sure, they're comfortable, but ugly. Especially when they have elastic at the ankles and are too short, or when you're a guy, or when they are really baggy. Okay, they're just always ugly, I don't care how comfortable they are. Be comfortable in your own home, look presentable when you go out in public. Just in case you don't know what I think about sweat pants yet, let me enlighten you; sweat pants should never be worn in public. Ever.

Today I saw something that I was so horribly shocked by, it actually hurt. I saw this girl wearing the nicest shoes. These were gorgeous shoes. I totally want them. Open-toe pumps with pink detailing. Really, really nice. I want those shoes. These ones actually. They are from Fixation Shoes and Accessories. Aren't they beautiful? Just gaze upon their beauty. I am.SHE WAS WEARING THOSE GORGEOUS SHOES WITH YOGA CAPRI PANTS AND A HOODIE! She ruined the shoes. She made them look cheap. She doesn't deserve to have those shoes if she is going to wear them without the respect they are due. Is there some kind of shoe social services she could be reported to? How could she do that to those shoes? Why? What is wrong with her? The week before the same girl was wearing ankle boots with yoga pants. I didn't like the boots anyway, but they definately didn't go with yoga pants. You should all know this, but I will tell you anyway; yoga pants don't go with heels. They just don't. If you must wear yoga pants, and I think yoga pants are only marginally better than sweat pants, wear running shoes or flip-flops. Ankle boots go with jeans. Gorgeous open-toed perfection goes with so many things, but work out clothes are definately not one of the things. Little black dress, black dress pants, dark wash jeans, nice pencil skirt, but most definately not yoga pants.
While I'm on the topic of yoga pants, let me rant a bit. I think yoga pants are only marginally better than sweat pants. Only because yoga pants don't look scruffy and messy as do sweat pants. I still think they should never be worn in public. They are work out clothes. You may wear them at the gym, on your way to the gym or on the way home from the gym. You may wear them as casual, comfy pants at home. Don't wear them in public. Often the people who do wear them in public have the body to do so and are understandably proud of their body and want to show it off. Fine. Do you have to show it off that much? Have you ever noticed that yoga pants are really tight? Really tight. Like, painted on tight. Wedged right up there tight. Can't even wear a g-string because you would have VPL tight. That's a little to much showing off. Seriously, I can see everything. Dimple on the left cheek? Yep, I know. I can see. That's just wrong. Can it really be that comfortable with a perma-wedgie?
One more fashion crime of the day, it was a busy day; summer wear. Not a problem in the summer. It's not summer right now, it's April. It was only 9 degrees today. Don't wear a jacket. Wear sandles. Capris are almost acceptable, but still pushing it a little. Shorts with a three-inch inseam, a tank top and flip-flops are definately pushing it a lot. Okay, we have had a long winter and it may seem like a heat wave right now, but there is still snow. There at least should be some green outside before the shorts come out. Good optimism though.