Changing

I was listening to a DNTO podcast recently. As if often the case, it got me thinking. This probably isn't the goal of DNTO, it is a comedic program after all, but it got me thinking anyway. The question they asked that episode was whether it is posible for people to change. My initial response was, of course it's possible for people to change, look at me. Most of you would say that I am definately different now than I was before I went to Korea. I would have said that too. But I'm not so sure now. I certainly behave differently than I did before. There are things I do now that I never would have done before. But am I really that different? I think the core of who I am has not changed at all. I think this person that I am now has always been there, waiting inside, for me to let her out. I just didn't know how to let her out. Now that I have let her out, I am so much happier than I was before. Robin now is the true me. I never really was the real Robin before, and I wasn't very happy. I don't think it is possible to be happy while not being true to who you are. I think I was just pretending to be happy before. Certainly, there were happy moments, but I don't think I was truly happy. Sometimes I feel the old Robin coming back to the forefront, and I don't like that. It scares me because I know what being old Robin was like, and I didn't like that at all. New Robin is so much better. But are old Robin and new Robin really different or does old Robin hold new Robin prisoner until she can escape? I know old Robin isn't completely winning because I wrote this. Old Robin never would have let other people into her thoughts.

I will stop refering to myself in third person now. I know it's been a long time since my last post, and then I have to go and post something overly serious like this. I will be more trivial and funny next time. Unless, of course, I listen to DNTO again. Those CBC programs are deep sometimes.