71 days

Well, I have been back in Canada for 71 days. Yep, I've counted. It's been okay. I like Canada. I like living here. I like the food, even if I find Dortitos disappointing. I think I would like it better if I were getting paid to work, but I suppose that will come later. While I do love Canada, there is something that is missing. Okay, not really something, more like someone. I have been in Canada for 71 days. That means that I haven't seen Samuel for 71 days. It seems like forever. Sometimes I think I will go crazy. I didn't know it was possible to miss someone so much. I know some of you did the whole long-distance relationship thing. How did you handle it? Sometimes I think, it's only been 71 days, how can it be this bad already? I have 67 more days until Samuel comes at Christmas. If I'm this crazy already, how bad am I going to be by then? I refuse to think about after Christmas right now because I know I'll just have to go through all of this again. For now I am only thinking up to Christmas. After that isn't important right now. 67 days seems like a long time. I think I'll go crazy.

Prayers please

I am asking all of you for your prayers on behalf of Samuel. His older brother died this week. He can't go home for the funeral. Please keep him in your prayers. Thank you.

100 things about me: Part 4

Wow. It has been way too long since I talked about me. I'm sure that there is lots more I can tell you, so here goes.

61) I think about every other sentence I have said since I got back from Korea has started with "In Korea", or "When I was in Korea", so something like that. I don't know how else to talk yet. It was my life for the last two years. If it annoys you, let me know. I probably won't care, but at least I would know if I am annoying you. I understand, sort of, why women only seem to talk about their babies. They don't know what else to talk about. You talk about your life. My life was Korea, now I have to learn something else. Could be fun. Maybe.
62) Stepping on crunchy leaves makes me giggle. It doesn't matter how grouchy I am or how bad my day was, if I step on leaves, I am instantly happy. That is partly why I really like fall. I love stepping on the leaves. The colours are nice, too.
63) Diane's keyboard drives me crazy. She set it up for Canadian English, so now when I push the apostrophe button, I get this è. To get an apostrophe I have to press shift and the comma button. I don't know what I would have to push to get a less than sign. Fortunately I don't need it very often. The question mark is shift 6. Weird. Interestingly, the computer told me I spelled colours wrong. It thinks it should be colors. How annoying.
64) I am updating this now as a way to procrastinate from doing the work I actually should be doing. I am really good at finding anything else to do than the work I need to do. I should be marking tests and making lesson plans. Later.
65) I like to go back to bed for a little bit after I take a shower in the morning. I get out of the shower, and get back into bed. I have to get up earlier than necessary so I can do this. I suppose I could just sleep a little longer, but I would still want to go back to bed, so this works for me.
66) I don,t like talking on the phone that much. I can never think of something to say. I find small talk difficult anyway, but it is way harder on the phone.
67) My dislike of talking on the phone is not conducive to a long distance relationship. I'm working on it. I suppose it's okay not to talk every second. I don't always talk every second when I'm actually face to face with someone, so it's okay on the phone, but it seems like a waste. There is something about the phone that makes me feel like there needs to be conversation every second. I'll have to get over that. (The computer also tells me that okay is spelled wrong.)
68) I don't like having a long distance relationship. Who does, really? I knew that it wouldn't be very much fun, but what did I know? I decided that I had to come back to finish my degree. It's my fault. I'll just have to put up with it for now. I plan to go back to Korea when I'm finished my degree so I don't have to have a long distance relationship. It's only for a little while longer. I'll just keep telling myself that.
69) I can't wait for Christmas. Samuel is going to visit, if all the visa stuff works out, and I will be finished interning. I haven't been home for Christmas in two years, so it will be great for many reasons.
70) I worry that my students don't take my seriously because I look like I should be in their class, not teaching it. One of students asked me how old I am because she said I didn't look old enough to be an intern. I am six years older than the other intern at the school. I'm sure that when I am older I will appreciate looking younger than I really am, but right now I would be very happy to look 27. I would be okay with that.
71) I'm really bad with money. If I have money I spend it. I am really bad at saving any. I need to learn how to save money. It's a life skill I haven't learned yet.
72) I used to think that I needed to be married before I was 25. That's the way life works, right? Now I think people are stupid to get married before they are 25. I don't think you have enough time to know who you really are before then.
73) My personal space has gotten smaller since going to Korea. I get annoyed at people for leaving three feet of space after the person in front of them in line. Is that really necessary? Why do we have so much personal space anyway? Do we think that if we get within arms reach of someone that something bad will happen to us? Is it an invasion of privacy? I don't get it. Think about it. I know it's what we're used to, but why?
74) I really like reality T.V. Not shows like Survivor, but shows like Restaurant Makeover, Hell's Kitchen, and So You Think You Can Dance. Reality that actually is reality. Game shows are also good. Lingo and Wipe Out. Does Wipe Out count as a game show?
75) I wish I actually spoke multiple languages. I know words in several languages, but I would actually like to have a conversation in one of them other than English. I can swear quite well in Korean, but I only know three sentences, one of which is "I am not a pervert." Surprisingly, that is not a sentence you need very often.
76) I hate studying. That is probably why I don't speak multiple languages. I have started to study languages. I studied French in high school, Spanish for two years in university. I studied Korean for long enough to learn the alphabet and a little more. I think part of it is that I never had to study in school, so I never learned how to study, and now I don't know how to make myself do it. How do you learn how to study?
77) I am so not a natural leader. If there is anyone who shows any interest in being the leader, or who has a dominant personality, I will almost always let them take over. I'm sort of a push over this way. I can be bossy. I can be the leader if I have to, but I don't like to.
78) I like living by myself. I get lots of time by myself, and I can walk around with no pants on. It's great. On the other hand, I have to do my own dishes. Maybe I should get disposable dishes.
79) I have found Doritos disappointing. I know. I was surprised too. I love Doritos. I craved them. Then I came back to Canada, and I don't want them anymore. I think it's because they don't have the black pepper jack flavour anymore. That was so good. Cool ranch is good, but I liked black pepper jack more. What happened to it? I want it back.
80) I really miss Samuel. I have conversations with him in my head. Okay, sometimes out loud while I'm driving. He doesn't answer, so I fill in his part too. I wish he could fill in his part.

I know I haven't updated this in a bit. I don't have internet at home yet, and the school blocks a whole bunch of stuff. I can read blogs, but I can't read any comments or add comments. I can't check facebook at all. I'm doing this at Diane's house right now. I should be driving back now. Oh well.

So, for those of you who don't know, I just started my internship at a high school in a small town. It's quite a change from Korea. I'm trying to get used to it. It's going okay so far. I'm counting down already. 14 more weeks. I can do that. I actually do like teaching. I just don't like the paper work that the university expects to go with it. They make up silly stuff. Right now I am teaching a grade 11 math class, and a general math class that has all the students who need to be constantly prodded to do any work. I will get another class to teach in about three weeks. I think it will be grade 12 math. Maybe physics. I got a phone today. You can ask Dad for my number if you want it.

That's all for now. I will try to say more next week.

Why does a number make such a difference?

Okay, as most of you know, I lost weight while I was in Korea. I look good. I know it. At least I thought I did. For some stupid reason I decided to weigh myself so I could see how much I had lost. Apparently I didn't lose very much. What is it about that number on the scale that seems so important? Before I saw that number I felt great. I knew I looked great, and I was happy with myself. Then I saw the number. All I could think was that number was too high. I was no longer happy with the way I looked because of that stupid number. Before I looked good. Now I'm just fat. All because of a number. Why does a number dictate how I feel about myself? It's stupid.
I think that as a society, we would be better off if we stopped being weight obsessed. Stop going by numbers. The numbers really don't matter. What matters is how we feel about ourselves. The number makes us feel bad about ourselves. So why do we look at it? Why do we have to know what that number is? The number will never be what we think it should be. Knowing it will only make us hate ourselves.
From now on I will refuse to let a number control me. I don't want to know what it is. I will not give a number control. I will go by how good my ass looks in these jeans. It looks good you know.

Come on people!

Okay, how has the message not gotten out? I'm sure there has been a memo or something. Just in case some people missed it, I will reiterate; sweat pants are not to be worn in public. Ever.

I saw this guy today. He was wearing sweat pants. Going comando. Not only that, the elastic in the waist, or the drawstring, was not tight enough, so the pants were low riding. Lots of hairy butt crack was visible. Ewww. Oh, and his hands were full so he couldn't pull his pants up. Why? Why did he think it was acceptable to go out like that? Because it isn't! Sweat pants are only to be worn in your house when there is no posibility that anyone will see you. Okay, you can also wear them when you are sick, but you should still be in your house. There is nothing attractive about sweat pants. Especially on guys. Get real clothes. Comfort is no excuse for ugly.

That is my rant for today.

Oh ya. I'm back in Canada. It's cold. But the food is good.

Coming home

My plane arrives Monday, at 6:58 pm. I expect to eat hamburgers soon after. Well, maybe a shower first, and then hamburgers.

See you all soon.