100 things about me: the finale

I was going to finish this before the new year started, but that didn't happen. Obviously.

81) I think about Samuel pretty much constantly. Chances are pretty good that if I am not speaking, I am thinking about him. I'm pathetic, I know, but I'm okay with that right now. I wouldn't say that I'm proud of it or anything, or even that it's a good thing, but that's how it goes right now. I even think about him in class. Usually my thoughts are way more interesting than the class. Doesn't take much to be more interesting than some of my classes. The thoughts don't always make sense though. The other day I was thinking about donuts, trying to decide what kind I wanted, and then the next second I was thinking about Samuel. I don't see the correlation between Samuel and donuts... they're both yummy? That could be it.
82) I really don't want to be at school right now. I want to be finished. I don't even care a little bit about my classes. I realize that I have a terrible attitude about it, but I don't care. So there. I'll go, because it would be stupid not to. I have less than three months left. I'll go, but I won't enjoy it.
83) What is it about girls who think they have to be blond? I don't get it. Everyone seems to want blond hair. Why? It just looks stupid. Okay, the first few days are fine, but then you get dark roots and it looks ridiculous. Maybe what I hate is the dark roots. Why would you let yourself look like that?
84) I wore sweat pants out of the house the other day. I had to run to the store to get eggs. I didn't want to change. I know. I am embarrassed for me too. I wore ugly pants. In public. How wrong.
85) I have a tendency to pull out my arm hair when I'm bored. I hate it when my arm hair sticks up, so I pull it out. It's weird, I know, but I do it anyway. Weird is acceptable.
86) I don't care how long you were in labor for. I really don't. Not even a little bit. I don't see myself ever caring.
87) I get tired of people, and it's almost always women, talking about weight. Can't we be obsessed with something else? Politics, environmental issues, the state of the economy, the stupid neighbor's stupid dog. Anything but weight. Fine, you gained a few pounds. Get over it.
88) I could spend all day watching television. I would feel yucky by the end of the day, and get absolutely nothing accomplished, but I would do it anyway. And I have done that. I will do it again too.
89) I feel bad about starting every item with "I". However, this blog is about me, so it is perfectly acceptable, but I could at least attempt to be more creative. I am incredibly lazy so I will probably not put in the effort required to think of another way to begin a sentence.
90) I really, really like hamburgers. I must be related to my father or something. Hamburgers are great. Especially with mustard and barbecue sauce. I thought barbecue had a q in it, but this is how the computer tells me I should spell it. And yes, I will let the computer dictate how I must spell. I think it looks funny. Mind you, it looked funny with a q too. Maybe it's just a funny looking word. Good sauce though.
91) I shock myself every time I talk in class. That's not something I do. But I do it now. I'll probably blog about that at another time.
92) I really don't want to go to class now. But I should be good and go. I didn't do the reading. It's hard to when you don't have the textbook. I probably wouldn't have done the reading even if I had bought the textbook. I'll go to class now, and try to pay attention. I'll go, but I don't have to like it. Yep. Bad attitude.

93) I don't know anything about cars. Wait. I know that you have to put in gas and oil to make it go. I know how to put in the gas. You go to Co-op and get them to do it for you. I could do it myself, but that would just be silly. For getting oil put in the car you tell Dad, and he does it. That's all I know. I don't know how to change a tire. If I ever get a flat tire when I'm driving I'll have to stand on the side of the road and look like a girl. I'm okay with that. I can look like a girl.

94) I like knitting. It's relaxing. I have to have a purpose for it, like baby blankets or something. Right now I'm knitting a blanket for Gianna. It's pretty.

95) It really bothers me when people mix up you're and your, and their, they're and there. Really, how hard is it? If someone uses the wrong one I have to reread the sentence to try to figure out what they actually meant, because the sentence doesn't actually say what it should. It hurts me. Look! I started a sentence with a new word.

96) I have never been one of those girls who has had every detail of her wedding planned since she was 10. The details don't seem all that important to me. Okay, I already have the paper for invitations and programs, but that's just because I was in Korea and the hanji paper is pretty, not because I have to have all the right details. Really.

97) I think it's embarassing that we, as in Canadians, associate our national identity with a donut place. I like Tim Horton's and all, but I'm pretty sure I can be Canadian and not have a Tim Horton's mug. I can be Canadian and not watch hockey or say "eh". Pretty sure. I don't have to own a Tim Horton's mug. I will eat the donuts. Mmmm. Donuts.

98) Baseball is boring. Both to watch and to play.

99) I want to go everywhere. There's probably lots of cool stuff to see, and I want to see all of it.

100) I still find my cleavage distracting.

In case you haven't heard yet...

I found out on Saturday morning that the embassy rejected Samuel's visa application again. That means he will not be coming here for Christmas. I have no idea when he will be able to come. I'm not really anxious to apply again; I don't want to be rejected again. I guess we'll just have to wait until I go back to Korea, and then decide what to do. I'm trying not to concentrate on the disappointment. Sometimes it's hard to think about anything else, but I try. I have one more semester of classes, and then I will be finished my degree, and then I can go back to Korea. Then I will finally get to see Samuel again. It's only five-ish months. Five-ish isn't that long. Right? I'll just keep reminding myself that.

Pray this for someone today

This was part of my bible reading from yesterday. I thought I should share it.

Ephesians 1:16-19
I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparable great power for us who believe.

Isn't that amazing? Don't you want someone to pray that for you? I know I do. I want the spirit of wisdom and revelation. I want to know God better. I'm sure you all do.

Here's what I want you to do. Pick someone, or several someones and pray this for them. Pray it for yourself while you're at it. Let's find out what kind of difference it makes.

Give this a listen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPeVIuRjUi4

It gives me shivers.

Yep, it's been a while

I know. I haven't said anything for a long time. I haven't felt like saying anything. Everything is still the same. I'm still waiting. I'm still teaching. That's about it.

Let me give you a better update though. Samuel reapplied for a visitors visa. We decided to get the visa guy that Joyce knew to help. Thanks to Mom and Dad, and the other people who contributed to this. Now we just have to wait. I hope I don't have to wait long. I promise I will let you all know when I know something more.

I have only two weeks and two days left of my internship. I'm teaching full time right now. Most days I even like it. I'm glad I had the opportunity to work in Korea before I did this. I have changed so much and gained so much confidence in myself. Some days I am surprised with myself. I was sitting in class today, my students were all working, and I thought that there was no way I could have done this two years ago, but look at me now! I have to say that I am quite proud of myself.

It's Samuel's birthday on Friday.

Bah Humbug!

I really wanted my next blog to be something nice. I was kind of depressing on the last post. Oh well. I'll be even more depressing this time. My countdown has increased indefinately. I don't know when Samuel can come. The embassy rejected Samuel's visa application. They said that there was not enough evidence showing ties to Korea, and that he didn't show that he had sufficient funds, and that I didn't show I had sufficient funds. So, in other words, they don't believe that he will return to Korea, they think he doesn't have enough money, and they think I don't have enough money. There was no place where they asked me to show that I had money. I don't have enough money, but they never asked. There is no place where they say how much money is enough, so it's a guessing game.

I was looking forward to Christmas, but now I don't care. I would rather it never came. Christmas was the end. I could stop waiting. Now I don't know when the end is. When can I stop waiting? My first Christmas in Canada in two years, and I'm going to spend it crying. It was supposed to be the best Christmas ever. Not anymore.