Sunday, July 6
Mixed feelings
I have four weeks left in Korea. That's 28 days. That's not very many. It's scary. I want to leave. I'm tired of living here right now. I'm tired of people looking at me, I'm tired of being a freak. I can't go anywhere without people staring at me, or trying to practice their English. I want to go home and see everyone. I want to go to church and have a church family again. I want to know what is going on. I want to drive. I want a hamburger. (Diane, I expect to have those yummy hamburgers. You know, the ones that have all that cheese on the inside so when you take a bite you get a mouthfull of cheese. Ya, those ones.) Yes, I am looking forward to going home. I do want to be there, but at the same time, I don't want to leave. I have changed since I came to Korea, and I like who I am. I'm scared that I will change back. I'm scared that I won't let myself be who I am. I'm scared about my internship. We all know how well it worked last time, and I'm scared that it will be the same this time. I want to go home. I really do. I don't want to leave. I don't want to go months without seeing Samuel. I know lots of people did the whole long distance relationship thing, but I don't want to. I like seeing him. I don't want to leave. I want to go home. I can't have both.
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2 comments:
I know exactly how you feel. I've been there. If Samuel likes/loves you enough then the long distance will work, but it will hurt hard. Not a day goes by where I don't miss Andrea something fierce. But I know she is the one for me and because of that I take the pain in stride and grow with it. Think of it as God giving you a whole lot of patience. Why? Because then you have a focus and a goal.
On the other side. I'm glad you are coming home. It is good to come home and feel normal and not having to be on your toes every moment of every day. Everyone over here misses you.
And Don't fret the internship. You are different, and it will be different. NO two things can ever be the same. You will do well. God bless and looking forward to seeing you again in a month or so.
Well put Andrew. I agree. Did the long distance thing and it sucks. Can't be encouraging on that one, but you'll get through it if you decide to.
We miss you so much and none of us have any mixed feelings about you coming home. We're just excited! You've had a year to gain lots of confidence and to know who you are going into this internship and you can survive anything for a few months. Can't wait to meet Samuel sometime!
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